Delayed Ejaculation Treatment
If you've read my article on delayed ejaculation, you may well be wondering how to cure it. First of all, it's important to realize that delayed ejaculation is not rare (click here to learn more): it is the third most common male sexual dysfunction, and it seems to affect about one man in twelve in the general population across all age ranges. This means that it is a very significant cause of disharmony and friction in relationships, sexual dissatisfaction and disappointment, and low self-esteem on the part of the men who experience delayed ejaculation.
It's often said that delayed ejaculation is a complicated and difficult process, but actually this is not true at all. In those cases where it stems from physical causes such as surgery, it is true that there may be no way to restore ejaculatory function. But the majority of cases are caused by psychological factors, and with commitment and motivation from the man concerned (and possibly from his partner as well), a cure is actually not too difficult.
Treatment will centre on several things: one of them is establishing good communication between the two partners in the sexual relationship. This is because there are many misunderstandings about each other's needs which contribute to faulty beliefs and wrong assumptions. For example, the man may assume that he has a responsibility to satisfy his partner sexually. The woman may assume that because the man cannot ejaculate he is not attracted to her. And so on – there are many more.
Once a man and a woman in a sexual relationship that has gone wrong and begin to communicate fully and openly, intimacy is restored between them, and the first step has then been taken to establishing physical intimacy. It's important that this process is done with clear guidance, otherwise the eruption of hostility and anger may be more destructive than constructive.
Secondly, it is necessary for the man who has delayed ejaculation to understand that something has gone wrong with the process of his sexual arousal. Although he appears to be aroused, with an erection, he may in fact have little desire to have sexual intercourse with his partner. This is usually because he has cut himself off from his awareness of his true feelings towards his partner, which are often quite negative. This may be because of some disruption of the relationship between them, or it may be because of previous associations with sex and sexuality that have left him psychologically disturbed by sex – shame and guilt are high on the list, they often come from childhood experiences. There is however nothing to stop events in adult life leading to delayed ejaculation, in which case it's known as acquired delayed ejaculation. Lifelong delayed ejaculation, fairly obviously, would be a condition that a man had experienced from the time of his first sexual encounter.
Thirdly a program of physical intimacy exercises, called sensate focus exercises, will re-establish sexual and physical intimacy between a couple, and allow the development of true sexual arousal in the man. Once he becomes highly aroused, he will find it easier to reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability, which is the point that every man must reach in terms of sexual arousal before his ejaculation reflexes are triggered.